I'm Sorry
by twilightscallingme
Summary: Please don’t doubt the fact that I’ll always love you. You’ll always have that piece of my heart – the piece that stayed alive, mostly for you, when Edward was gone. Letter to Jake from Bella. One Shot


Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the rights to_ Twilight_. Clint Black owns the song "Love She Can't Live Without."

_Author's Note: If you've read my fics before, you know I'm not big on author's notes. But, I wanted to explain how I was reading song lyrics – looking for a song that made me smile, but I couldn't remember the name. I fell upon "Love She Can't Live Without" by Clint Black, and it instantly screamed Jacob and Bella! Who am I to turn down a muse... :) Enjoy.Also, the words that are in the (parenthesis) should be crossed out - it didn't upload it right and I'm not going to fight with it anymore.  
_

_She looks in the mirror and sees all the sadness in her eyes  
It's never been clearer what he's asking her to sacrifice  
But she can't be his forever, she can't even be his for now  
She'll have to be kind to them both and let go of him somehow_  
Love She Can't Live Without – Clint Black

Dear Jacob,

I miss you. I'm really sorry that I've caused you all of this pain. Truly, I am. (You've got to admit, though, that you're the)

Sorry. I promised myself that I wouldn't blame you or blame me or blame Edward. Jake, I'm so sorry that it's come to be this way; I'm so sorry that you've run away. I don't even know when you'll get this letter.

Billy probably will give it to you grudgingly. I can't see how he can be even the least bit pleased with me. I know that he is not pleased, at all, with this situation. I mean, how could he? I practically lived at your house for so long when Edward was (missing) gone. He could have probably seen me as his third daughter – not that he needs another! And then you go (missing) off on your own.

I hate to admit it, Jake. I know that the wedding is what pushed you over the edge. The wedding invitation. To be fair, I asked him to keep you off of the guest list. I didn't want to break your heart any more than I already had by giving you too many options. I didn't want you to feel obligated either way. Maybe that was wrong of me. Either way, by the time that I found out that he had sent you an invitation, you were already gone. Trust me when I say that I drove to La Push as fast as I could. Embry and Quil met me, as did Billy. They all miss you so much, though I'm sure that you know that.

I keep dancing around what I need to tell you, Jake. I'm sorry for that. Okay, here I go.

No matter what, I will never forget you. They – the Cullen's, that is – tell me that with time your human memories fade after they change you. I know that my memories of you will never fade; I'll never let them. So you know, while I'm lying there (and all of my organs are shutting down to prepare my body for my death), I'll be thinking of you. I will never let myself forget you. I will never let myself forget you, your friendship, or the fact that I love you.

And it's not that I love you less. It's just that I love you differently. I hope that you understand that. Maybe in ten or twenty years, although I hope it's tomorrow, you'll fall in love with a girl who deserves you and loves you back perfectly. And hopefully then, you'll realize that while we love each other and are best friends, we don't love each other like the love that we need.

Please don't doubt the fact that I'll always love you. You'll always have that piece of my heart – the piece that stayed alive, mostly for you, when Edward was gone. I don't know how else to explain it to you, but you're my sun. And I know that you said that you can't fight with an eclipse, but you couldn't have fought any harder than you did.

I don't regret choosing this lifestyle, Jake. I just regret that I couldn't have made it work between you and I. I wish... I want for you to understand that if you ever want my friendship, I'll always be waiting to hear from you. For now, all I can give you is my e-mail address, though I'm not sure how long it will be active for. I'm not quite sure how to tell you to go on contacting me, though I'm sure that you're smart enough to figure it out... if you would ever want to.

Please don't do anything to please me. I want every decision that you make from here on to be yours, and yours alone. Unless, of course, you find that one that you love.

Please stay safe, too. I worry a lot about you, and while you remind me how_ unbreakable_ you are, it will never stop me from worrying about you. I guess that's one of those things that goes along with love.

I'm sorry that it ended up this way, Jake. I'm not sorry, though, that I met you, depended on you, or kissed you.

You're my best friend, always.

All my love – for eternity,

_Bella_


End file.
